Skydiver Brett Bickford’s death ruled a suicide: officials say no experienced skydiver would loosen harness

Maine State Police interviews with other skydivers and industry officials concluded that no experienced skydiver would loosen a parachute harness by mistake.

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LEBANON (NEWS CENTER Maine) — Maine State Police say the death of a skydiver in Lebanon has been ruled a suicide.

The State Medical Examiner’s Office has concluded the death of 41-year-old Brett Bickford of Rochester, N.H. was a suicide. Bickford fell to his death on September 27 when he was jumping with another man

State Police say interviews with other skydivers and industry officials concluded that no experienced skydiver would loosen a parachute harness by mistake. Bickford, an instructor at Skydive New England, was jumping with a second man when he fell to his death. The second jumper landed safely with the parachute.

Investigators concluded that Bickford intentionally loosened his harness in midair.

Bickford’s body was located on Sept. 28 in the woods near the skydiving facility.

If you or someone you love needs help, you can call the Maine Crisis Hotline 24/7 at 1-888-568-1112 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

“Death is Knocking” – Samantha Mayo

I can’t find any real meaning to my life.  I really can’t think of any reasons to live.  Why not take my life?  There are not very many people who would miss me.  I’m sure a handful of people would gather for the service and say, “Oh, that’s too bad.” or “I just don’t understand.”  No one really gives a shit; they never have.  Probably never will if I choose to live.  I imagine I would struggle, poor and with what little beauty I have left would fade.  My kids would hate me and I die sad and alone.  The same way I came into the world.

I can’t lie and say I haven’t had blessings but I gave it all away in search of securing love, I suppose.

I always asked myself, “what’s wrong with me?” I guess no one would know if they were the problem.  I must be.  I tried so hard with my husband and that failed.  I tried so hard with my parents and siblings and failed again.  They just used me until I had nothing to give, then left me alone in the world.

Does it matter I’m scared and suicidal.  Why haven’t I gotten the courage to just end it all.  I feel weak and full of shit.  I’m thinking this next time I’ll make sure I don’t wake up.  I wonder if they will shave my head and sell my hear or bury me in a card board box never worth loving, too afraid to die, needle in arm, sitting on the bathroom floor crying.  Spirits so broken I just need a little hand.  Hoping this shot will take me to another land.

My joke of an existence, living day and night alone and scared.  I would tell someone if I could find someone who gave a shit.  So ready to say fuck it and just quit.

Samantha

(Editors note: No worries.  We care, and Samantha’s getting help.)